Shark Tale (2004)

We were immediately turned off by this lame film because of its crass commercialism and stereotypical characters. Will Smith voices "Oscar", the hippest fish this side of Reef City.  The Oscar character is supposed to be a depiction of what a "cool" fish would be like, using negative stereotypes of African Americans (There are also negative stereotypes involving Italian Amercians, but that's a whole other story).  Those who created and voiced the characters in this film claim this is harmless child's play.  But these portrayals can have lasting effects on children and can form the basis for future discrimination.  This movie could have still been amusing without all the ethnic references. 
Technical Score:  6
Personality Score:  3
Total:  9
Godzilla (1998)

The hype for the special effects in this movie was tremendous back in 1998.  While the effects are competent, they're not all that stunning.  There's just nothing original here, it's like Jurassic Park meets Aliens with a little Independence Day thrown in at the last minute.  Effects-wise, the movie has quite a few shots in which Godzilla gets awkwardly inserted into the action. In addition, he tends to vary in size depending upon the scene in the movie!  The baby zillas are the absolute worst though.  Next time you see the movie, note the scene inside Madison Square Garden with the wide shot of the baby zillas "nest".  Half the zillas are walking around, and not even touching the floor! Let's try to spend a little more time and effort on the post production, fellas.
Technical Score:  6
Personality Score:  7
Total:  13 
All Of The Werewolves
An American Werewolf In Paris (2001)

Unlike the first film "An American Werewolf In London", which actually won an Oscar for make up effects by Rick Baker, the transformation effects and chase scenes for this film's werewolves are completely computer generated.  The animation in clunky and awkward, and the textures for the monsters (almost plastic-like) were atrocious!  Rotten Tomatoes gave this film a rating of 6%, which has to be some sort of record for lameness.  Watch the original, instead.
Technical Score:  3
Personality Score:  4
Total:  7
The Hulk
Hulk (2004)

At best, a "B" movie with "A" movie hype and budget.  Director Ang Lee worried too much about mimicking the comic book, resulting in a sort of "video comic" and not the pop cinema masterpiece it could have been.  The Hulk looks okay, but too much like a colored drawing imposed upon celluloid.
Technical Score:  5
Personality Score:  9
Total:  14
Inspector Gadget
Inspector Gadget 2 (2002)

No, not "inspect your gadget", Inspector Gadget! And not the first Inspector Gadget movie, the second one!  French Stewart (Third Rock From The Sun) takes over from Matthew Broderick in this sequel no-one asked for.  The "new" Inspector Gadget is flat, bland, and borderline annoying.  In defence of comic actor Stewart though, he didn't have much of a script to work with, and managed to salvage a few laughs from the miserable screenplay.  The film appears to have a quarter of the budget of the original, with cheesy and unrealistic computer generated effects.
Technical Score:  5
Personality Score:  3
Total:  8
Robots (2005)

After seeing The Incredibles for the 10th time, it seems obvious that 3D animated films not made by Pixar just don't rise to the challenge.  The Fender character in this movie (voiced by Robin Williams) reminded us of the Genie from Aladdin, without all the wacky shape shifting. In fact, the Fender character reminds us of EVERY cartoon character that has been played by Robin Williams, ever!  The "voiced by Robin Williams" character has become the cliche of  animated movies.  Enough with the over the top cartoon acting, Robin!
Technical Score:  8
Personality Score:  3
Total:  11
Score: 1/20
Lost In Space (1998)

Okay, we don't know what this is exactly, we don't know where it came from, and we don't really know its name (apparently its name is "Blawp", because that's about the only sound it makes).  A horribly animated and textured (it looks like they skipped the final step in the rendering process!) "thing", "it" is completely irrelevant to the plot of the movie, and serves no other purpose than to mass produce a cheesy, cuddly plaything, just in time for the Christmas season.  Although we think most children would rather set this thing on fire, rather than sleep with it. We'll supply the matches.  Just kidding. Or maybe not.
Technical Score:  1
Personality Score:  0
Total: 1
The Baby
Son Of Mask (2003)

A wannabe animator (played by Jamie Kennedy) who is terrified of having kids, dons the mythical mask from the vastly superior first movie starring Jim Carry, and impregnates his ridiculously tolerant wife. The result?  A strange looking baby with "mask-like" powers, which he manifests after watching the Warner Brothers cartoon  "One Froggy Evening" (Easily the best 2 minutes of the film).  Apparently this "mask baby" is supposed to be amusing, but comes across as creepy.  How creepy?  Imagine the creepy dancing baby from the old TV show "Ally McBeal", and multiply that creepiness by a thousand.  Actually, make that a million. Very creepy. And hideous. Just don't watch this movie alone in the dark!
Technical Score: 3
Personality Score:  0
Total:  3
Jar Jar Binks
Star Wars Prequels (1999, 2003, 2005)

This would have made #1, but we can't ignore the fact that until the Phantom Menace, such a highly detailed, photo-realistic CGI character had never before interacted with live actors in a motion picture.  But no other character (computer generated or otherwise) of recent memory has spawned such revulsion from the general public, hard core fans especially.  What was George Lucas smoking when he came up with this annoying, ebonics speaking, floppy eared, funny walking, groan inducing, Star Wars prequels ruining monstrosity? Was it some kind of an acid flashback from the 60's?  This character is so unpopular, it has even spawned numerous "Kill Jar Jar" websites, one of which hosted a recent poll about the best way to put poor Jar Jar out of his misery:

How should Jar Jar Binks meet his untimely demise?
(Of 965 votes)

25% Multiple lightsabers to the colon
24% Tied to a pod racer by this tongue
16% Drown in a pool of his own blood
13% Step in Bantha crap, fall into Sarlacc
11% Ejected into deep space by R2D2
10% Soul swallowed by new Hellraiser C3PO

Personally, we like option number one, but that's a matter of personal taste. 
Technical Score:  9
Personality Score: 1
Total: 10
The new Hulk
The Worst 3D Animated Movie Characters, Ever!

If you have any other characters that you would like to suggest, contact us!
Our Thanks To:


Our #1 Pick: Can Anyone Tell Us What This Is, Exactly?
The Baby. Be Very Afraid.
Oscar: The "Fresh Fish" Of Bel Aire?
Shoulda left it to the Japanese, who do it best!
Parisian Werewolves: More Rude Than Scary?
Aaaarrgghh! Hulk badly animated!
Too much Gadget, not enough Penny and Brain!
Fender: The 1,000,000th cartoon character voiced by Robin Williams.
Jar Jar running for his life from rabid fans.
The new Godzilla
Fender from
jar jar binks
American Werewolf In Paris
The baby from
Inspector Gadget
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